So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain. If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!Īnd that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked ’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face. I still procrastinate today, but less so. This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.
As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.
